Things I’m Pretty Sure I’ve Learned As A Mom
There are the old worn bits of wisdom, passed down through the ages that we all know and love. You know, masturbation will cause hairy palms, going outside with wet hair will cause one to catch a cold, your face will stick like that…. We’ve all heard them. And most of us still take heed, even though we know there’s no scientific proof to back them up.
But if you think about it, there is. Old wives tales are years of advice from ancient moms. Of course it’s bad luck to open an umbrella in the house. It flips open and you’re sure to break something, bringing down the wrath of mom, and that is always bad luck. You can’t catch a virus from having cold wet hair, but you can get hypothermia, frostbite, and headaches if it’s cold and wet enough. Mom never had time to explain all that as you escaped every morning. Easier to scream, “Ye’ll catchyer death o’ cold, ye wee heathen!!”
So, all in all, believe them or not, most old wives’ tales are not just silly old stories passed down from generation to generation. In fact, I firmly believe that we are still discovering these little gems of advantage, but are so trained to reject them because of our 21st Century enlightenment that we could well be missing the obvious amongst our modern infinite wisdom. I would like to share a few of my own lessons learned from a collective 65 years of motherhood. Not that I am in any position to be giving any kind of health advice to anyone – these are conclusions based on my own limited experience. And for the record, my doctor thinks I’m a quack.But let me know what you think.
You Can Smell When Your Child Is Sick
This is huge. Mother’s Intuition is a Super Power. You have it – use it!!! If you think your child is up to no good, ask them if they’re not sure they’d like to confess something. You’ll be in for a surprise. Just like you can sniff out infection. You know what your child smells like. And he smells like no other. Hold someone else’s newborn and you know immediately that it’s not quite the same as holding your own. Diapers are a nasty business at times. But you know what your little man’s smell like. If it smells off – sweeter, bitter, anything – pay attention. There could be a fever right around the corner.
Hugging Is Good For The Heart – For Real
Have you ever noticed how calming it is to just sit and hug someone? To curl up on the couch with a loved one? To hold a frightened or sick child close? Listen closely next time. Hearts beat with their own electric pulse. When two hearts are close to each other, the electric fields connect, and the hearts fall into beat with each other, synchronized and rhythmic, determined and stronger. We all have and need built-in recharging stations!
Red Wine Cures Headaches
At least if it’s cold. Red wine, usually served at room temperature, can leave those susceptible with nasty hangovers. But cold red wine, with its more potent kick, loosens the muscles and quickens the blood flow, creating a relaxing effect that eases most aches. Sure most alcohol will have the same effect to one extent or another, but a chilled merlot seriously kicks a headache in the ass.
You Can Cure Your Wart With Your Mind
When I was a kid, I had a wart on the middle knuckle of my right index finger. This was an issue because it seriously hampered my ability to throw a frisbee. My dad sat me down one day and told me to wish it away. Three times a day for seven days, wish the wart would go away. And it did. It was the only wart I ever had. So as a mom, I passed along this technique along to my kids. And save for the odd seriously grotesque plantar wart on a growing foot sole, this has worked every time. Perhaps simply because they trust and believe. Worth a try if there’s no emergency.
You Can Be Addicted To Sugar
Among the many listed symptoms of addiction listed, for example, in this article, I would point out that pretty much all of us are addicted to one extent or another. Not to make light of anyone’s addiction problems – and I’m serious in calling sugar my vice – there are a few signs I’d like to highlight to make my point. “The person takes the substance and cannot stop.” When was the last time you ate ONE jelly bean? “Denial.” Mmm hmm. “Obsession.” I know you hoard recipes on your Pinterest boards. And what about “Keeping stashes?” There’s the family cookie jar; and then there’s Mom’s Secret Stash. You don’t have to say anything. We know.
Water Cures Pretty Much Everything
My kids think this is hilarious. Virtually every ailment they present to me, is met with, ‘drink more water and see how it is in three days.’ Headache, joint pain, skin rash, stomach troubles, menstrual cramps, dry eyes, you name it. Unless they’re injured and/or bleeding, this is my go-to. And if they’re still complaining about it a day later, I’ll take it a little more seriously. This is the plan about 90% of the time.
Hiccups Mean You’re Growing
What? you ask. Yes. Think about it. Children get hiccups all the time. Adults, not so much. I’m not talking about the ones resulting from chugging an ice cold beer. I mean the ones that have you trying all sorts of ineffective remedies because the spasms are either painfully wracking the child or annoyingly interrupting your movie. They go on for up to ten minutes or more. And they leave the poor kid feeling exhausted. Pay attention. You’ll notice over the next few days that something doesn’t fit. Especially with babies – it’s more noticeable because they’re smaller.
And what about you, the adult hicupper? Check the scale. I’ll bet a day’s gardening that you’ve gained or lost a few, maybe 5-10, pounds. Tell me I’m wrong.
I personally consider all of these ideas to be truth, based on my personal experience. You are perfectly welcome to call me nuts. But I’ll bet you’ve got a few of your own. Share them in the comments. Don’t let me walk this quack path alone!